Where were we? Ah yes… cunnilingus.  No matter how good you are at getting her off with your mouth, next time you’re about to head down —  ASK HER if she wants you to lick her pussy.

That’s right. Look her in the eyes, tell her how much you want to taste her, and then for godsake, take your time. Do NOT try to get her off. Just explore her with your tongue, wandering in and out the folds of skin, licking up her slit, nuzzling her mound. Do not establish rhythm! You don’t want her to orgasm, you just want to delve into that deliciousness like it’s the first time you’ve been that close to a woman’s body.

Tell her how turned on you are. Ask her if she’d like you to put your dick in her. Reassure her you won’t leave her hanging if she doesn’t climax.

If you don’t usually go down on her — ask her anyway if she wants you to lick her pussy. You may be surprised. If she says no, ask if you can just look at it. Will she spread for you, for just a minute? Please? If not, no biggie.  Keep up with the hugs/kisses/stories outside the bedroom, and keep positive the opportunity will present itself. Try after she’s had a shower, or offer to run a bath for her… and then ask if you can scrub her back or rinse her hair… admire her…

When she’s all clean & fresh, she’ll probably be less likely to put off your request to at least look at her. And once you’re looking, you can always ask to pet juuuust the surface. And if that feels nice, maybe you can slip a finger gently between her lips. Don’t get greedy, though. Easy does it, always. Remember, you never want to push her to her limits — you always wanna leave that wiggle room. Try not to give her the opportunity to shut you down, cause that’ll undermine your leadership.

Anyway:  your goal is to get her to appreciate oral sex NOT as an orgasmic tool but as a practice in opening up to your needs. Right now, your only “need” is to savor her pussy. Talk to her while you’re down there — play a game similar to a visit to the Optometrist’s office.  “Is this better <long lick up the middle> or this <little flicks tracing the same path> ?” Or “Do you like this pressure <light> or this <harder>?”

Show interest in how she feels. Think of her as an engine or machine that you’re tinkering with, trying to figure out. If you’re lucky, you may stumble onto something neither one of you knew she liked!

ASIDE: Here’s a great Madonna song for inspiration… Perhaps the best, most graphic song about eating out a woman, ever.

Keep up the kisses/hugs/stories/sexual exploration until it all feels like a natural part of your relationship. She’ll probably try to reciprocate on her own, but if she doesn’t, no worries. If you’ve done your groundwork, she’s primed to follow your lead. Next time you tell her an oral sex story, tell her you fantasized about her going down on you. Not to completion, just that you felt her mouth on your dick and it was incredible. Leave it at that.

A night or two later, tell her you had a dream that you were getting head and you looked down and recognized her beautiful lips around your cock. Hot! Leave it at that.

Next time you go down on her, ask her what she thinks about going down on you. Not till you come, just for a little bit. Not now, even — you’re just asking about sometime in the future, maybe. In the meantime, you’d like to try a little experiment. Take her finger in your mouth, and suck/lick on it like you’d like her to suck your dick. Tell her, “When you stoke here in the beginning it’s a big tease” or “Slow/fast rhythm like this works best” or “Like this on this part of me when you want me to come…”

You’re being instructional, not persuasive at all. You’re engaging her on an intellectual level. Most importantly, you ‘re taking a chance when you take her finger in your mouth — you might look kinda silly to her, but rise above it. Man up! With confidence and a touch of humor, you can totally pull this off.  Praise her for letting you suck her finger, tell her just thinking of where something like this might go is a huge turn-on. Leave it at that.

Next chance you get, ask her to kiss your finger. Then ask her if she thinks she remembers what you said you liked on your dick. See if she can show you, on your finger this time. Encourage her efforts, guiding if needed and going, “Wow!” if she nails it. Suggest that something she’s doing is even better than what you’d imagined.

Does she want to show you how she likes to be sucked/licked? If so, great! If not, no worries… maybe another time.

At this point, your task is to continue warming her up to oral sex, without any pressure or expectations. Remember:  baby steps, praise, encouragement. Always!

If she brings her mouth the tiniest bit close to your dick, tell her in no uncertain terms how good it is for you, how much you appreciate her sexual generosity, how loved you feel when she pleases you that way. And then back off. You’re not asking or even waiting for more. You’re just happy to be trying new things, even just a little bit.

Make oral sex fun, easy, light-hearted & respectful. Most women want to please, they’re just not sure how & don’t want to look stupid. Or they’ve been turned off by bad experiences. Be supportive and for godsake keep things positive. Tell yourself your efforts WILL work, eventually. With gentle persistence — at her own pace –  you WILL show her the way.

You’re doing this for the both of you, so don’t feel guilty or selfish in your pursuit for oral gratification. You are opening up new sensual worlds for you both to enjoy together — she will one day thank you, and you’ll share a laugh at how misguided she once was to think she didn’t like oral sex.

Finally…

Warming your partner up to oral delights usually doesn’t take a full year, but if you practice these exercises for twelve months and still are doing without — you might want to consider the possibility that she’s not that into you.

Before you write her off, though, I have one more trick. You know those sexy stories you tell her? Keep telling them, except instead of fantasizing about her, tell her you’re fantasizing about another woman. Not spitefully — in fact, you probably wanna start off saying you had a dream where you were making love with a very sexy woman whose face you couldn’t see, so you assumed it was her, but then she started to give you a blow job and you looked down to see… a stranger!

Again, don’t be mean about it, don’t rub it in, just say it like, “Wow! Almost feels like I cheated!” then hug her and tell her you love her and would never, ever cheat on her for something as silly as oral sex.

Your message, though, is subtle but clear:  if you’re denied oral sex, you can’t help think of other women who might give it to you. Again, don’t come right out and say it. Women are MASTERS at reading into things;  trust me, she will draw her own conclusions and if you’re lucky, she’ll think she’s tricking you out of infidelity by placating you with blowjobs.

Which is what you actually wanted in the first place!

Good luck, and lemme know how it goes.